A Starting Point

 If I had started chronicling my experiences with my

family member's dementia in real time, that journal

would have started easily a more than a decade ago.

But dementia--like many illnesses--is a cruel and 

insidious beast. It works its way into people slowly,

secretly, taking over bit by bit so as to make the 

suffering last. It's a long-term dilemma, difficult to

address and with no cure.

But here we are, nearly 14 years into dealing with 

the matter, and I need to begin documenting what 

it is I'm dealing with on a daily basis.

There are several reasons for doing a blog. I won't

pretend that altruistic motives are the chief concern,

but certainly we all benefit from seeing our common

experiences shared so we see we don't feel so alone in

our struggle.

That's important because the isolation and whelming

nature of being a care-giver is terrifyingly lonely. And if

(as is all-too-often the case) you are the solitary care-

giver, you truly feel as if you've been set adrift.

SO I'm doing this to track what is happening and when, 

because it all blends together after a while.

I'm doing it to have some form of history here since

courtrooms and judges and the need to offer evidence

of timelines and progression are in my future.

I'm doing it for the family members in denial (and who 

have disappeared) can look back and see what was actually 

going on in the life of their alleged loved-one.

I'm doing it because dementia is 'contagious:' Spend enough

time in circular, repetitive conversations--making no headway--

and knowing that things will only get worse...and you begin to 

lose context and connection yourself. This, then, is a purge to 

try and make sense of it all. To let it out rather than keeping it 

locked inside.

There are no helpers, no aides, no family, no friends to

assist with this, so a blog will serve as my confidante. An

eager listener I can pretend is enthused to hear how my day

went and provide a sympathetic, understanding space for me. 

There are a lot of working parts in the battle with this

illness, so the focus may change often. Equal parts wishes,

memories, current problems, discovered tricks, and resources

are likely topics. 

Welcome to "The Book of Dementia."