The Book of Dementia

  There's no definitive timeline for what  aspects of  the brain's abilities will be affected by dementia.  But one influence for the order of  events seems to be  'malicious humor.' To have a person lose the ability to reason, to remember, to use language, to conduct themselves properly...but yet  they can still drive? So that they can go and show off to  the world how poorly they function now?  So they can  become humiliated? Make themselves a target to all the criminals and con-artists looking for a vulnerable  mark? The disease is bad enough, but the fact that the 'timeline'  for 'what capabilities go at what time' isn't more conducive to allowing a dignified progression is just an extra slap in the face. My loved one is currently ignorant as to the humiliating things she's saying and doing in front of others. But an awareness of it--and crippling shame and self-awareness-- could kick in at any time. That ego and defiance w...

  If I had started chronicling my experiences with my family member's dementia in real time, that journal would have started easily a more than a decade ago. But dementia--like many illnesses--is a cruel and  insidious beast. It works its way into people slowly, secretly, taking over bit by bit so as to make the  suffering last. It's a long-term dilemma, difficult to address and with no cure. But here we are, nearly 14 years into dealing with  the matter, and I need to begin  documenting what  it is I'm dealing with on a daily  basis. There are several reasons for doing a blog. I won't pretend that altruistic motives are the chief concern, but certainly we all benefit from seeing our common experiences shared so we see we don't feel so alone in our  struggle. That's important because the isolation and whelming nature of being a care-giver is terrifyingly lonely. And if (as is all-too-often the case) you are the solitary care- giver, you truly fee...